Alpha Queen's Concept

Self-Love

“Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home.”
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Love…… A word used on a daily basis.

It is a general expression of positive sentiment (a stronger form of like) which is commonly contrasted with hate.

It can also be said to be a feeling that encompasses a strong range of positive feeling because of its virtue representing human kindness, compassion, and affection which describe compassionate actions towards one’s self, other humans or animals.

Love can be classed into the following:

Divine love (Agape)
Self-love
Family love
Romantic love
Friendly love

Having understood what love is all about, we are going to be talking about Self-love and how to achieve this.

What is Self-love?

“If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.”
T. Harv Eker

Self-love is defined as “loving oneself” or “regard for one’s own happiness or advantage“.

It is a state of appreciating oneself which grows from actions that support your physical, mental and spiritual growth.

Before you can show love to others, you have to love and understand yourself, care for your own needs and not sacrifice your well-being to please others.

In life, we all have many different ways of taking care of ourselves. Figuring out what self-love looks like for you as an individual is an important part of your mental health.

Finding and Trusting yourself

“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”
Roy T. Bennett

We sometimes find ourselves having thoughts like; Why do I feel uncomfortable with who I am, what is my place in this world and the likes of such thoughts.

To achieve self-love, you have to discover yourself. When you know yourself, you understand what pushes you to learn and resist habits you’re either comfortable with or not.

Finding yourself is not a day’s job but rather a step by step journey through life. Have in mind that our identity is not a fixed thing but a constant change that is molded by our experiences.

There’s no one more important to trust than yourself. Sometimes, we lose ourselves to negative thinking of mistakes/failures. Building self-trust helps to boost your self-confidence which in turn makes your life easier and enjoyable. When you trust yourself, you are able to do anything without judging yourself.

In other for you to trust yourself, you have to spend time with yourself so as to know your strength and weakness.

If you haven’t discovered yourself or you’re trying to re-discover yourself, you can do that by;

Identifying your personality
Considering what your core values are
Declaring positive affirmations
Being true to yourself
Forget the past and look towards the future
Avoiding self-judgment
Avoid comparing yourself to others.
Come out of your comfort zone and try something new
Clear your mind of all negative thoughts
Surround yourself with people who love and encourage you
Avoiding toxic relationship
Celebrate your wins no matter how big or small.
Find something to be grateful for every day
Cultivate the habit of saying NO; saying no sometimes doesn’t make you a bad person instead, it makes you a smart person
Accepting yourself

Here are some quotes to help you achieve self-love;

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball
“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.” – Robert Morley
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” – Mark Twain
“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. ” – M. Scott Peck
“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.” – Shannon L. Alder

Knowing your Fears and Overcoming it

What is Fear?

How can you conquer your fears?

Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm. It is a feeling of being afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or harmful.

Fear is an emotion created by your mind based on real or imagined threats.
ASHLEY ELIZABETH

In life, we all at one point have challenges to face, fears that keeps us awake.

Fears are illusions created to hinder your movement or action from reaching your goal or in most cases teach you things that will make you better and stronger.

When growing, life throws us different challenges that makes us wish to give up but when we overcome such fears, we’ll see that it was just a test. A test to show if you’re ready for the next big thing.

In this life, no one is born with fears but as we grow, we begin to have fears. These fears cause us to avoid or reject opportunity when made available. Due to our fear, we are often filled with the feeling of depression, because we find it hard to go on.

The following are some fears we experience as we go through life that hold us back from achieving our goals;

Fear of failure
Fear of being alone
Fear of rejection and criticism
Fear of sabotaging opportunities,
Fear of love
Fear of being ridiculed.
Loss of respect.

“Fears are nothing more than a state of mind”
Napoleon Hill

How to overcome your fears.

The possibility of us overcoming our fears is easier said than done. It’s hard to see through our fog of fear. As said earlier, our fears are false evidence appearing real. Just as how we are the root cause of our fears, we are also the solution to them. However, none of this will be possible if we aren’t ready to face our fears.

In overcoming your fears, you have to:

1. Pray:

Prayer is the most important factor you have to consider because nothing can get out of your way without a spiritual battle between your God and the wicked.

2. Identify Your Fears:

You can overcome your fears by identifying what you are afraid of. Personally, there are times whereby I’m scared but I don’t know why.

The power of a man is his mind, and because of these, you allow your mind to manipulate what you see when you keep your fears locked in.

3. Write out your fears:

What makes you afraid?

Writing down your fears helps you in analyzing what your fear is all about and why you are afraid. After analyzing, question yourself because this helps to trigger your fears and bring them to the surface.

Please have in mind, it’s not going to be an easy process but it is needed when overcoming it, because the more you lock your feelings in the dark, the scarier they will be, and the more dis-empowered you will become.

Once you identify the type of fear and the experience that you associate with your fears, you become armed with the power to take action to change them. Eventually, your fears become smaller and smaller, and your strength gets bigger and bigger.

4. Envision yourself as a Fearless person

When you envision yourself as a fearless person that acts with courage and confidence in an environment where you are fearful, your visual image, the way you see yourself and think, is in the end altered because of your positive envisioning of yourself accomplishing the given task.

5. Confront Your Fears Immediately:

Your ability to confront, deal with, and act in spite of your fears is the key to happiness and success. One of the best exercises you can practice is to identify a person or situation in your life of which you are afraid and resolve to deal with that fear situation immediately. Do not allow it to make you unhappy for another minute. Resolve to confront the situation or person and put the fear behind you.

6. Recite Positive Declarations:

In overcoming your fears, positive declaration can be used to overcome any negative thought. Using such affirmations helps to challenge your fears which in turn helps in re-training your brain and having your fears re-framed as powerful statements.

Research shows that you can actually train your subconscious mind such that it will help you to attract exactly what you desire in life.

Instead of saying “I am afraid of doing this because I might fail,” look in the mirror and say to yourself, “I am prepared for this. I am ready. I will not fail.”

The more you use positive declaration, the stronger they become. The best way to cancel a negative belief is to develop its positive counterpart.

Commit to making positive declarations a key component of your morning ritual. It literally takes one thought, repeated over and over again, to set you on the path to transforming your entire life.

7. Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You:

Not doing the things that scare you will only increase the your fears and these fears will grow and inevitably take over every decision that you make.

In other for you to overcome your fears, you have to work with it. Try to do the things that scare you one step at a time even if its scary. All that matters is that you take action. Make it a habit to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

Putting yourself in new and uncomfortable situations triggers a part of the brain that releases dopamine, nature’s make-you-happy chemical. The shocker of this is that the part of the brain is only activated when you experience completely new things.

When you make yourself do something every day that scares you, your fear fades away, and your courage grows.

Think about it……..

When you face your fears, how can you fear them again? Soon enough, your confidence will increase.

Alpha Queen’s Final Thoughts……………….

Change your relationship with fear. Instead of letting it knock you down, use it as motivation to grow and achieve more.

Once you recognize that fear is not real, the obstacles that appear to stand in your way will be removed, and you will feel empowered to take action.

Your potential in life is limited by only one factor: You!

So……. Are you ready to transform your fear into action?

LIFE & CHOICE

In the jungle, we have the weak and the strong. According to Eleanor Roosevelt, we are what we choose to be because of the decisions we made. The power of a man is his mind because he alone has the power to control his mind.

When compared to the cycle of rain, we see that at times when we struggle to get up there we come down. The struggle we face helps us to know our strength and weakness. Life is a jungle where we must struggle to win.

‘What is the meaning of life?’

_{That’s a real tough one}

There is no specific meaning to life, instead there are different perspective on what life is all about.

‘Life has no meaning. Each one of us have meaning that we bring to life.’
Joseph Campbell

According to Joseph Campbell, we all ask ourselves this question without bearing in mind that we in one way or the other are the answer to the question

Choices in Life………….

As we grow, we all have a choice, a choice that every human comes across, a choice that determines one’s future. Life isn’t always fair but we can either give up and let it defeat us, or we can push forward and learn how to deal with it.

Our choice can be altered depending on the situation we find ourselves. This alteration can either be good or bad.

Some say decision making is easy but it’s not. I say no because there is no short cut to success or anything for that matter. When having to make a decision, you look at the things around you, you look at the pros and cons of such, if there will be positive impact or not. Every human comes to terms with his or her soul on the issue of decision making because it can affect you either for progress or for downfall.

Decision! Decision!

Make the right decision that will make you progress. Take a decision that will not hinder your life from moving forward. Take a bold step in making…

…The right DECISION

Do not give up after several attempt of pursuing your goal, cause as they say, “At the end of every tunnel, there is always light.” When going through trials and tribulation, be patient, be focused. Do not waiver in anything you set your mind to do.

You will find out that your hope, your strength, your will is what keeps you pushing. A smile goes a long way in one’s life so make sure to put one on and leave it on, no matter what and no matter how challenging the situation is always have Hope that the Future is going to be bright.

You can’t stay in the same place you fell, you need to get up and keep pushing.
Life’s journey is always onward
Alpha Queen